Fajar (21): “I’m going to work hard to secure a good future for us and our baby” – #IDECIDE4MYSELF

This week we’re sharing young people’s stories from all over the world, in which they talk about their sexual experiences and the role of self-empowerment. In Indonesia, Fajar (21) and his girlfriend are expecting a baby. The pregnancy was unplanned, and many people have told Fajar that he has no future, but he doesn’t agree.

Talking about sex

I’ve never talked about sex at school or with my parents. I joke about sex with my friends, about porn for example, but I don’t tell them anything about sex with my girlfriend. Sex is taboo in our culture. I don’t know what my rights are, or where I can find information about sex.

I find it uncomfortable to talk about sex with my girlfriend, so we have made up words that we use for masturbation and oral sex. It makes it easier to talk about, and that way no one else knows that we’re talking about sex.

Personal experience

My girlfriend and I had sex before marriage and now half a year ago she became pregnant. It was an accident, but actually it was inevitable. We didn’t know how to go about having sex as an unmarried couple, or about the risks. I find it hard how this has turned out, because I feel like I’ve lost my youth. We’ve gotten married in the meantime.

My story of self-empowerment

I have disappointed our families, but I know one thing for sure: I won’t let this happen again. I want to repair my relationship with them; I want to prove to them that we have a future and that I will fight to keep my partner and our baby healthy. I want to finish studying so that I can have a successful career. Many people have condemned me and told me that I don’t have a future, but I disagree. I’m going to work hard and prove them wrong.   

Are you inspired by this story about sex and empowerment?

Research shows that young people who feel empowered are more able to make positive sexual choices. That is why Dance4Life offers an innovative curriculum co-created with young people for young people: the Journey4Life. A journey in which they increase their confidence and feel enabled to make healthy choices about their sex lives and relationships. Dance, music and personal stories are important elements.