Mickey (21): “I don’t find sex an awkward topic. I just tell my boyfriend what I do and don’t want to do” – #IDECIDE4MYSELF

This week we’re sharing young people’s stories from all over the world, in which they tell us about their sexual experiences and the role of self-empowerment. Mickey (21) from the Netherlands knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to say it.

Talking about sex

“I can easily talk to my parents about sex. They always take the view that sex is normal and everybody does it. They do stress that it’s important to think carefully about who you do it with, and that you should never do it against your will. It’s not that they’re encouraging me to do it, they’re just normal about it. I also talk about it with my sister and my friends.”

“When I was younger I sometimes posted ‘sexy’ pictures on my Instagram. Just in bikini or with a duckface. My mom didn’t like it and always told me that I give the wrong impression with pictures likes these. Nowadays I don’t post pictures like that anymore. I don’t like the certain attention you get from this kind of pictures.”

Personal experience

I’ve been in an official relationship for two months. I can tell my boyfriend what I want and what I don’t want, and he always respects my boundaries. For example, if I don’t feel like having sex then we don’t. He listens to me well haha. It’s not an awkward topic at all. We do talk about it when we’re together, not over WhatsApp. We also make a lot of jokes about sex, that obviously have some truth to them.

My story of self-empowerment

“I am glad that I never experienced someone crossing my boundaries. If a boy would touch me against my will, I would let him know very clearly. I will not do anything I don’t want to do.”

Are you inspired by this story about sex and empowerment?

Research shows that young people who feel empowered are more able to make positive sexual choices. That is why Dance4Life offers an innovative curriculum co-created with young people for young people: the Journey4Life. A journey in which they increase their confidence and feel enabled to make healthy choices about their sex lives and relationships. Dance, music and personal stories are important elements.